Stalling on Life
Are you wanting to start something new, take a big leap, make a major transition or simply do one thing you know you’ve want to do but have been stalling on for a long time? And the more you stall, the more confused you get about wanting to take action?
I’m not talking about procrastination, although you may ask what’s the difference?
Let’s say, for the purpose of this article, that procrastinating has to do with things you know you need to do, responsibilities you’ve committed to that have a deadline and you’re delaying till the last possible minute to start or to finish. Things such as work, projects, taxes, paying your bills, etc. These are things for which there are negative consequences, penalties or even punishments.
And, let’s say that stalling has to do with one thing (or more) that you don’t have to do but have wanted to, perhaps for years, but you keep resisting it. A dream you’ve always wanted to pursue out of your own desires and will, like leaving the cubicle or your corner office to create your own business, travel the world, start meditating or doing yoga, sing in a musical, become a writer, etc. There are no deadlines, and you won’t get in any trouble for not doing it, and there may be no negative consequences or additional costs, like losing a job because you never submit your work on time or paying penalties on late taxes but there are repercussions you may not be aware of – such as sadness, lower self esteem, anxiety, irritability, lost mojo, anger, irritability, disconnect from others, etc.
What Would You Do, Be, Share or Express if You Could?
Wayne Dyer often says, “Don’t die with your music still in you.”
What music is in you that’s yearning to be shared and expressed in the world? What love have you been withholding? What painful relationship have you continued for fear of nothing better? What gift, talent or value do you have to contribute, that you’re too scared and full of doubt to offer? What book is in you that you’re denying from your readers?
Perhaps you can’t think of anything at this moment but you’ve stumbled across this article for a reason, so take some time to let your answer float to the surface.
Life Doesn’t Wait
From the stories my parents tell me, I’m pretty sure my first word was WAIT! “It’s time to go to school Guy” was immediately followed by a plea to “Waaaaaiiiitttt!” Anything that made me nervous or scared, I wanted to avoid or resist.
I’ve noticed that tendency ever since I could remember. Over time it led to procrastinating behavior on things like homework but eventually I became self-driven and things that had obvious negative consequences I would ultimately learn to do on my own.
But there were other things where there were no obvious negative consequences or punishments that I continued to ignore or avoid. The things I may have really wanted but was too afraid to go for, for which the only consequence was a feeling of sadness or smallness. But that was just internal and no one could punish me for not going for it – except maybe me.
“Life doesn’t wait. Like a river’s constant flow, it doesn’t wait for anyone’s permission or readiness but the invitation is there to jump, step or gracefully slide in at any time and ride the flow.”
Life or life force is a constant and steady stream of energy in the universe. Einstein said, “Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” It’s everywhere and it cannot be denied but in us humans, it can be suppressed, resisted or repressed but it has to go somewhere.
What’s Holding You Back?
What’s holding you back from pursuing your big dreams or that one seemingly small activity that you’ve wanted to do ever since you could remember? I’d like to suggest that it’s fear and the source of all your fear, doubt and worry is your ego.
The ego is a false construct within your own mind sucking up most, or all of the power and life force you have and instead of putting one ounce of that energy into action, all that energy is fueling your ego and consequently snuffing out your mojo, creating the negative consequences I mentioned earlier – sadness, anxiety, depression, etc.
Perhaps you’ve said “I’ll start, when I feel better.” You may not have been feeling confident or certain about your own emotional or physical readiness to start. If it’s a soul desire, then chances are high that you’re caught in a loop, one that might result in a downward spiral making you feel worse and worse till eventually you’ve depleted your inner resources, reduced your confidence, self esteem, and all your courage, etc. It sounds doomed, doesn’t it? Perhaps that’s exactly what your ego wants.
Start Living Now
Try changing your perspective – “When I start, I’ll feel better!” … Is it possible?
You bet it is. When you commit just to take the first step and you do it, you break the pattern – now you have the power of life force energy on your side. You see things differently, more clearly, less resistance is there, less doubt, less worry, less angst, everything you wanted before you took the step is only there after you take the step. We’re funny that way.
Everything that made you afraid was an illusion – it was possible but not real. Just your ego/inner-critic/gremlin at it in full force. The step you take is real and is proof to your inner self that you can do just about anything. You may not do it well and you may fumble, tumble or stumble but that tends to feel better and more liberating than not starting at all. Now you’re in alignment with reality and the flow of life – all you need to do is just keep taking one step at a time.
I’d like to end with a quote that has inspired me countless times and has proven itself true in my life, I share it with you in hopes that it does the same for you.
“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
~ William Hutchison Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition.